When Your Favorite Uncle is Really Your Cousin.

The Man I Called Uncle Bill

There was no one quite like my “Uncle” Bill—William Thomas Driver. Every time I saw him, he made me feel welcome and appreciated, whether I was a child running around at family gatherings or a young adult finding my way in the world.

As a kid, my summers often meant trips from Philadelphia to Gloucester County, Virginia, to visit my Aunt Mary’s farm. She raised chickens, pigs, and sometimes a cow or two. Those trips usually lined up with church homecoming celebrations. After the long, bumpy drive down her dirt road (sometimes landing in a ditch or two), we would finally arrive—and the next morning, Aunt Mary would lay out a breakfast where everything was made from scratch. I’m 65 now, and I can still taste that homemade butter.

But for a city boy like me, there was a catch: after breakfast came farm chores. Somewhere along the way, I decided country life wasn’t for me. That’s where Uncle Bill came in.

Summers in Connecticut

Uncle Bill and his wife, Aunt Lorretta, lived in Stratford, Connecticut, where he worked in the tool business. To me, he was more than an uncle—he was a mentor, a teacher, and a friend.

He was talented with his hands and creative with his mind. He built things, painted, loved music, and could dance with the best of them. He was well known in his neighborhood, always finding ways to make ordinary things extraordinary.

I’ll never forget one summer when we spotted a dining room table on the curb. Uncle Bill hauled it onto the roof of his car, took it home, and transformed it into a coffee table. He even let me help, and I was so proud of the finished product.

Since both he and Aunt Lorretta worked during the day, Uncle Bill made sure I was connected with neighborhood kids my age. We went fishing, hung out at the YMCA, and explored new places. Summers with Uncle Bill weren’t just fun—they shaped who I became.

Wait… Uncle or Cousin?

It wasn’t until later in life that I started to question how Uncle Bill fit into the family tree. He wasn’t my father’s brother. He wasn’t my grandfather’s brother. So, where exactly did he belong?

Eventually, I discovered that he wasn’t my uncle at all. He was actually my first cousin, once removed.

So why did I always call him “Uncle”? One word: Respect.

In my family—and in many others—the titles of “Uncle” or “Aunt” were often bestowed upon elders, whether they were blood relatives or close family friends. This cultural norm showed honor and respect, but it could also make genealogy research a little tricky.

Lessons for Genealogists

When researching your family tree, keep these points in mind:

• Don’t take titles at face value. Family traditions and cultural norms may blur actual relationships.
  

• Cherish the memories. Whether someone was an uncle, cousin, or close family friend, their impact on your life matters most.
  

• Honor your family’s wishes. Share stories with care and be discreet with sensitive information.
  

• Recognize roles. Parents, uncles, cousins, and mentors all influence us differently—but each relationship is valuable in its own way.

Final Reflection

Uncle Bill may not have been my biological uncle, but he will always be remembered as someone who poured kindness, creativity, and joy into my life.

What about you? Do you have a favorite person in your life who left a lasting mark? How did they shape your story?

Disclaimer: These posts were edited with AI assistance for clarity. All genealogy research and conclusions are my own.